Saturday, September 22, 2007

One size does NOT fit all!

Hat-tip to Amy at Humble Musings for this link. I think it's too good not to share.

I have found that the mothers I know with the most "experience" are the ones who are least adamant about a one-size-fits-all parenting style. Children, even in the same family, are born with different personalities. What worked for baby number one might not do the trick for baby number six. Wise parenting requires flexibility and a willingness to set aside commitment to any particular "method" in favor of "what is working for this particular family at this point in time".

You can read the rest of the post that this is the closing paragraph of over here. (I have not looked around the rest of the blog so can't vouch for all this author writes. But I did agree very much with the tone of this post.) Way way too often parents think that what worked with number one will work for number 2. Too often kids get treated like cookie-cutter molds of each other and the individuality of each child isn't taken into consideration with regards to how they are parented. Not a good thing.

And as the mother of a breastfeeding toddler I can totally see how easy it would be to fall into the trap of just feeding the toddler rather than getting up and playing with them. I am guilty of doing this on occasion but at the same time I am really conscious that I don't make that a habit and that Shelby is being stimulated and having fun and learning things that she can only get away from breastfeeding. I still hold to the belief that breastfeeding beyond one is still a great thing but it does need to have boundaries and it does need to be a give and take. They do NOT need to be fed each and every time they ask for it. Sometimes they just need an extra cuddle and story time. :)


Anonymous said...

I agree - thats what makes each and every one of us individuals. How boring if we were all the same!

FOR ME (again, one style does not fit all)I found that having a flexible routine for my girls helps with feeding. I try and do the four hour feed with Tali because I know that every time she is crying, doesnt mean she is hungry. She sometimes just wants some attention from her Mum.

Children are so precious and we need to take more time to sit and talk and cuddle with them, because before too long, they wont fit in our laps!

Lisa said...

I didnt mean to be anonymous...

Erin said...

Hi, glad to see you found my blog :)
I just finnished an essay about breastfeeding for infants health class. So interesting! I agree that babies should be breastfeed beyond the first year, but not at an expense of other one on one time. Sounds like your doing a great job with Shelby

Rachel said...

Lisa-Hi! I didn't realise you'd visited my little blog! :) Glad to hear from you. That's really great that Tali can take in and you are producing enough milk for her to be able to go 4 hours between feeds. For I think the first 4-5 months or so Shelby couldn't do that as she took in smaller amounts and I was only producing enough for her to be satisfied 2-3 hours at most. And of course since she doesn't take a dummy she has used the breast to satisfy the need babies have to suck a lot as well.

Erin-Isn't it fascinating studying up how amazing breastmilk is? I am always on the look out for more cool information. Did you know that there are over 200 "things" in breastmilk that are UNIDENTIFIED! Crazy huh? There is always new information from researchers about the amazing qualities in bm being released.